Lifelossophobia....dissected

lifelossaphobia
by JS














Everybody wants to "live the life"... lately this has got me thinking.
what does that really mean? For Jeff the teenager, living the life would be playing computer games till dawn, bumming out, having fun with friends, partying etc etc...Tim on the other hand is the man who fills every second of his life with activity , sometimes, all he wants is rest. Remember these two characters for they bear great importance in this literature.

I have to admit, on most days, I'm Tim. I spend every hour doing something....anything..everything. This disease i shall coin as "lifelossophobia". Allow me to explain.

Ever get the feeling that life is not satisfying? Like when you wake up and suddenly you see that all you were doing in the past was just wasting time. Where has the past 10 years gone to? Fleeting images of parties, blur faces, and a few pinpoints of bright moments float lazily across you mind.

"Oh God , Im a loser...." ( eyes widely opened and stunned )

then suddenly, it hits you, a most astounding cognitive revelation has occured,

"angels blowing horns and rays of light appear"

No more shall i waste precious minutes in lethargic bliss. I shall conquer. I shall DO and BE.

Thisis the point of time in history that the syndrome known as lifelossophobia began. This disease is prone to affect intellectuals, active lifestyled, go-getting, high-on-confidence people but sometimes the average bum(me...)

And so the suddenly the lifeless dweeb becomes a full time Life-a-holic.

we(i) as humans tend to have a flaw. We over do things. And who am I to blatantly flout the norms of the majority? A week? A month? These durations are bearable. but after a year, things get hazy. Suddenly everything seems to slam into a big wall. The last noteworthy progress that i have made in my life was 60 days behind.

In the movies, this point is the insert-your-lifechanging-event segment where the protagonist suddently has an "aha" moment. Sadly we mortals have no such help from life. Most of the time we never change and continue spinning down the road to oblivion.

This syndrome called lifelossophobia causes a high level of stress on the nervous system. After a certain amount of time, Things start misfiring. Symptoms that are exhibited are : loss of friends, extreme fatigue, jerk-ism(a disturbing behavior displayed by .... jerks) and being downright mediocre in all pursuits.


The key to overcoming lifelossophobia is actually recognizing that you are currently suffering from it. As they say, to kill a deer, first you need to know what a deer is or else the family is gonna be feasting on badger, bear, or the occasional writer. You never know what you will find in a forest these days.

The correct drug to battle this disease is called "Survival of the fittest/ culling of the weak". As individuals in this vast world, our choices are unlimited,pleasures to be discovered are infinite and our destiny has a million different endings. Then arrives the ultimate party pooper, time, which effectively castrates all our dreams and leaves them as unfertile rabbits in a sea of hot sexy bunnies ; useless. We mortals simply do not have enough time to do everything. ( hearing a big DUUUH from the audience now)

Next it comes to the pick and roll stage. No its not a basketball strategy. What this means is that we pick our best skills, our forte, our prime kahoona of abillities and roll on with life holding them tightly to our bosom. Be forewarned, this is not as easy as it seems. After going through this stage, i solemnly tell you "leaving part of you to rot and die really hurts". It feels like you're actually LEAVING A PART OF YOU TO ROT AND DIE!.

If you are not suicidal and dead by now, look on the bright side. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Little by little, i notice that this time I'm not Tim.(for reference, see first paragraph) Under certain circumstances, suddenly i become Jeff. On this note i stress that Jeff is more sociable, fun, and confident than Tim. Life looks livable again. Armed with a bevy of tricked out,glamorous distilled skills and abundant time, i leave my dying old self behind and take the reins of my own life back from the dust.


Pick and roll, fight lifelossophobia....